..And the Polite Gallery

Some of my other sites.

 Furtopia gallery

You need to visit them.


The Blue Page

I deleted that big long greeting message, it was messing this page. But please click on the banner above, and check out my soft toy of the famous O RLY owl!
And here's my email address if you want to contact me about anything (like, for example, the new Jeeves and Bertie story! Scroll, scroll!).



Slash stories

For those of you who don't already know: slash is a kind of fan fiction in which two of the male characters have an amorous encounter. This could be anything from one boy's erotic thoughts about another (as in some Harry Potter slash) to a violent and passionate night of fellatio and sodomy between two or more gods (eg Ares, God of War/Ares, God of Love/Iphicles, mortal king of some Greek city-state and brother of Hercules). The previous example is an favourite among Hercules and Xena slash writers, as all three characters are played by the same actor in the tv series.
The name "slash" comes from the symbol used to denote the coupling eg "Horatio Hornblower/Archie Kennedy".
As a general rule, the characters do actually like each other and are often in love, which is part of the genre's appeal. Needless to say, if you are passionate about an author's rights to his/her intellectual property or are homophobic, slash is not your cup of tea. Otherwise, check out my stories below.


The Wodehouse Collection
Jeeves and Bertie slash. I've moved these up to the top, as they're my favourite.
There's a new one (as of 19th September 2006) and the old ones have been turned into PDFs.

Jeeves and the Understanding
In which Bertie has a birthday and Jeeves has too much to drink.

Thank You, Sir
Sequel to the above. In which somebody finally notices Bertie's pages are missing from the Junior Ganymede club book.

Love in the Afternoon
A sex scene, but in the form of dialogue, to keep it decent. I figured there was no power on earth capable of shutting Bertie up. All right, maybe one...

Bertie Wooster Takes a Stand
This was a birthday present for a friend. Hope you like the comic-style.. This is The Tale of Bertie's Dreadful Aftershave.

NEW - The Tenets of Spinoza
In which Bertie attempts to tackle one of Jeeves's obscure philosophers.


Bertie in the Garden...
Three dialogues featuring Bertie, Jeeves and Madeline Bassett in Aunt Dahlia's garden. Not much in the way of plot, but lots in the way of funny, which is why I've put them here. :)





Various other fandoms:

Earth's Children Book 5 - The Man Of Pleasures
My first slash story, (c. '99-2000) with comments and contributions by the friend who introduced me to the genre. Are you sick and tired of waiting for Jean Auel to stop running around in Eastern Europe with a sling and a spear-thrower? Wish she would just come home and publish her next book? Well, the ten years' wait is over, because "The Man of Pleasures" is here.

Footnote: Incredibly, after twelve years, "The Shelters of Stone" has arrived. Quite outraged that Ayla hasn't invented the tampon yet, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time... On the up side, so much nothing happened in that book Jockular must've had time for a fling with Tandaran...

Iago in Love
A darker story, based on my analysis of Will Shakespeare's "Othello". June 2000.
Note (17/02/06). This story's not as good as my later ones, so don't think it's representative. Stuff happens too fast. But eh, I wrote it while I was still at school.

The Search For James
Pokemon slash. Yes, really. Another light-hearted work.

Hornblower!
It was only a matter of time. Hornblower came back on tv and I couldn't stand the sexual tension any longer. I refuse to believe that the actors have no idea how slashy their show is.

The Trouble with Books
I never thought I'd write Discworld slash, much as I love the books, partly because I didn't trust myself to do it well enough. Then this beast was born. I suppose I should forewarn you. Rincewind/Vetinari.
There is some fan art of this fan fiction too! Here.

From An Ocean of Ashes
Rincewind again. Set earlier in his timeline, before he developed his passion for potatoes. The other character is Charios, a beastman of my own invention who won't go away. If you've read Pantheon's last incomplete storyline, he's in that too. He's sort of the demon equivalent of Rincewind. But this was his first appearance.
There's a slight problem with this story now, in that it's a crossover and set in the world of a webcomic called The Sinner Dragon, which is no longer online. If I tell you there was once a storyline in which a character was trapped in Limbo, in the Desert of Ashes, and pursued by a beastman who wished to eat him, it will make more sense. Likewise if I tell you he was saved by a dragon eating the beastman. And that he visited a town of rodent people. And that dragons can adopt a human form. Never mind, it's still fun to read.




Two excellent stories not written by me

And When He Falls
By torch. From "Good Omens" by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. Crowley and Aziraphale. This story makes me drool every time I read it. A beautifully rendered example of just how good good slash can be.

Concurrence
By debchan. This one's Discworld slash, and just as well done as torch's. It has Nanny "Nanny checked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew.." Ogg in it, so it must be good.




Other Stuff, Mostly Concerning Satan

Sinking into the Abyss
I wrote this little piece during an exam in about June 2000. I got full marks for it, too! "Sinking into the abyss" was the phrase we had to base our story on.

Jesus in Conversation
A practice-run for the creative writing in the final exam. They didn't give me back the one I did for the HSC, which was about the Antichrist. This story is unfinished, but it contains a development of some of the ideas found in The Pantheon itself. It also mentions Ares.

Walking in Shadows: The Church
Satan's Dark Past, as 'twere. Yes, he has one and this is it, or part of it. Something like the child of "Sinking into the Abyss", but with nasty bits that aren't suitable for schoolteachers.

Mr Wilkinson and the Act of Foul Sex
Another story that isn't suitable for schoolteachers. Somebody I knew once used the phrase "act of foul sex" and I've never forgotten it. This is mostly about people who feel the need to act as moral arbiters for the rest of society.
It shares with "Walking in Shadows" the distinction of being one of the few recent stories on this page that are entirely my own, with no characters stolen from anyone else.

Ares Pictures
I drew the following two pictures of Ares, played by Kevin Smith in tv's "Hercules" and "Xena" some years ago, but they're still nice. I copied them from photographs. Rest in peace, Kev mate.
The first picture of Ares The second Ares picture


Gads! Some polite things!

Niche
A poem I wrote at school, c.1995, about a family of wolves. From the Good Old Days when poems rhymed and scanned and told stories.

Ian and the Nessie
A friend of mine had a birthday and rather than buy her a present, I wrote her a comic. If the name "Ian Griffith" sounds suspiciously familiar, you won't be too surprised to learn that this great epic was strongly influenced by Hornblower.

The Two-People
Wrote this back in 1997 for school. It's about a race of aliens who communicate using scent rather than sound. They have come to earth and, in the usual way, taken away earth animals to study: three humans, a dog and an octopus. Oh yes, and there's a chicken that stows away.

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