Hell. Yes it has fire and brimstone, evil demons, eternal tortures. But has anyone ever wondered why? No-one wonders exactly why I was thrown out of heaven. Committing some unspeakable sin, yes. But what is an unspeakable sin? Humans seem to have trouble with that one. It seems that the worst sin one can commit is to reject God.

Fine, this all makes sense, I'm sure you are thinking.

But consider exactly why anyone would choose the reject God and the argument becomes more interesting. No up there in the "real world" humans can sidestep this by saying that none of us can truly hope to understand God. Well that doesn't work when you're an immortal entity doomed to eternity as the incarnation of Pure Evil. I knew God. He spoke to me. He gave me orders. As an angel my job was to carry messages between the greater angels about how the preparations for Creation were coming along. At first I was happy in this position. But as time went on I began to wonder exactly why God had the ultimate say in everything. I suggested a democracy, but God wouldn't have anyone undermining his power, so he disgraced me. Painted my wings black and caused horns to grow on my forehead. God's loyal angels began to avoid my company. I remember once catching up with Raphael and asking him why he was avoiding me. He sighed. "I'm really sorry, Lucifer, but God's told us to keep away. He's decreed that black is the sign of evil." Then he left.
I stood there stunned. What on earth was "evil"?

Not too much later, God created the world. He had great plans for humans - they were going to be just like angels, but with no wings (couldn't have them getting too full of themselves). Just like he did with angels, God made the rules. No eating from the tree of knowledge. Everything else, okay. The thing with the tree was that it would allow humans to see, as angels could, that God was not all-powerful. It was pretty lonely, as you might imagine, being Evil all on my own, so I went to visit the humans. I quickly determined that the woman had power over the man - some quirk of God's creative process had caused him to be obsessed with procreation. Her name was Eve and after she tasted the fruit I told her that God really wasn't worth listening to - she should make her own decisions. Eve was a smart girl, she weighed up the odds and concluded that I was right; God had no right to boss her around. Adam quickly followed.

Now God was mightily displeased about all this and he waxed wroth and smote and decided that since it was my fault, humans would have to suffer. It's the little quirks in God's character that make him so endearing. Humans who rejected God would be punished after they died.
He would reject them.

So I set up shop in a nice warm little otherworld. I figured that if the humans were rejected by God, they might as well come to me. They soon began to come. It was quite easy to convince them that God was a dictator, arriving as they were direct from Judgement where God declared that he was rejecting them as they had not cared for him while he was alive. The angels called my followers "demons".

Just to confuse God, I observed human atrocities and came up with a nice little front for my operation - eternal suffering. God is now convinced that I am doing what he wants me to do - punishing evil souls.

Meanwhile, my demons and I are plotting to bring down God. We will take over the superintendence of the cosmos and implement a democracy. Humans will be free to do what they please. In effect, the world will not be much different to the way it is now. Except for God. Poor old God. Rejected.