A god with a really really big penis.

Very popular with the Romans, less so with the Greeks, Priapus is both a fertility god and a kind of phallic burglar repellent.

He is usually to be seen in the company of his wheelbarrow, without which any pace faster than a slow walk would be nigh impossible.

While he's very proud of his endowments, he has been known to lament that their presence prevents others treating him as an individual in his own right.

Next: Dionysos.